Andank Andank
Chicago Dogs
East Joppa Mart
A dedicated listener to the Terry Ford show on 105.7 The Fan, East Joppa Mart (also known as EJM) is a Baltimore local who has never ventured west of Joppa Road and Loch Raven Blvd. He hasn’t left his stoop in over a year because of chronic bunion issues, but before that you would have seen him mangling beers and vacuuming whole peanuts (shell on) at Top Hats Billiards Hall on Perring Pkwy. and Joppa Rd.
Il Duce
Il Duce, aka Russellini (Irish descent), is the Commissioner and Founder of SOTBFFL. Described by his subordinates as a fascist dictator, Il Duce is known for ruling with an iron fist and defending the League's honor and integrity by any means necessary. In his spare time he enjoys imposing sanctions, accepting bribes, and antagonizing other League members to the point of physical violence.
Jet Flying Son Of A Gun
They all want to like the nature boy but there can only be one so None of you can be first but a whole bunch of you can be next. Wooo. If you’re reading this, I’m probably 42,000 feet in the air in my leer jet wearing custom suits and $600 alligator shoes starting our descent to drink the next city dry. Wooo. You know If you’re talking franchise, If you’re talking Money, If you’re talking Notoriety, If you’re talking Women, then you’re talking about,
The Rolex wearing
Diamond ring wearing
Kiss stealing
wheeling dealing
Woo
Limousine riding
Jet Flying Son of a Gun
And I’m having a hard time holding these alligators back so whether you like it or don’t like it, learn to love it because I’m the best thing going.
Woooooooo
Lansdowne Laphogs
The polish sausage king of East Bawlmer! You can mostly find him frequenting Ostrewskis on Bank Street and occasionally down on Hollabird at Jimmy’s. Why Lansdowne in the name and not Highlandtown? Simply put, too many lead paint chips consumed with East Joppa Mart. However, don’t let this fool you as Team Laphogs has an annual tradition of playing Jedi mind tricks mid-draft persuading Mart to make terrible picks.
(Full Disclaimer: Team Laphogs does not have gout. Any attempt to live and act like Team Laphogs may lead to onset of gout. If you do develop gout as a result of acting like Team Laphogs, Team Laphogs bears no responsibility.)
Bikey's Gout Gang
In East Joppa Mart's 2010 hit single, "My Friends Fuck," it was said that Bikey was "a beast, a dog, no he can't be stopped. He's the next Ari Gold now the beat's been dropped." That didn't quite pan out - and instead he spent his time in SoCal mostly blacked out, sleeping with swimsuit models like he was Billy Walsh. His years in the liberal have turned him quickly into what others have referred to as a LibCuck, a role he is proud to play in the league today.
He's been known as Kaeptain America and Lightly Tossed Salad w Old Bay, and he was even known as Succop My Jizz for about 10 minutes in 2021 - which is about the length of his average playoff run. Always good for one shouting match with the corrupt IL Duce, Bikey quits or threatens to quit the league every year by Week 8.
When not plotting for a Commissioner coup, you can find him in Portland, ME or at Andank Andank HQ popping gout pills, brewery hopping, and avoiding red meat like the plague.
KMET ME BRO
Soy Boy Beta Cucks
Straight Cash Homie
As a 3-time champion (2014, 2017, 2021), Straight Cash Homie represents the best of what SOTBFFL has to offer. The culture of SCH is second to none and has allowed the organization to remain both best in class and a staunch competitor across multiple years and fantasy football landscapes. Integrity, honor, and getting blackout drunk at the league's annual draft have become staples of our organization and will ensure our reign of superiority for as long as SOTBFFL exists. These ideals are implemented from the top down and are followed by every member of our organization.
Team Mr. Probation
The Rat King
Aka The Ruxton Rat, aka The Lithuanian Lecter, is a founding member of the SOTBFFL. A 2016 Champion, 2014 Finalist, The Rat King is a master of artful trades and draft strategy
