Week 9 Power Rankings:

  1. Soy Boy Beta Cucks (7-2, W2) - Gumby maintains his #1 power ranking following a dannnnnnnnnng binnn 132.94 PF game. Gumby *cough* Jillian, appears to turn everyone into gold. He starts Jerry Jeudy and somehow he scores 22 points. The pressure of being the #1 playoff seed is intense. Looking back in the SOTBFFL History books has shown the following: 2019 Nick was 9-4 and was utterly demolished by Andank 113.54 to 78.98. In 2017, Kaeptain America (Mikey) got knocked off by Team JotaTay who almost was the first 8th seed to win the championship.

  2. Lansdowne Laphogs (5-4, L1) - The Polish have never been good at fighting... Tough little stretch of games with Scheeler next up on the schedule. Will the injury to Run CMC prevent Yogi from another league title?

  3. Jet Flying Son of a Gun (7-2, W2) - White Trash Kelce is the best TE and coupled with Mahomes Scheeler has an impressive 1-2 punch.

  4. My Honey Go Chubb (5-4, W3) - A win, is a win, is a win. Nick flips spots with Scheeler in the PRs, but maintains the league's longest winning streak with an ugly 65.9 to 60.74 win against a rudderless Pierce Parisi-Hanff.

  5. The Rat King (5-4, W1) - Jumping two spots in the PRs this week, the Rat did all he could to throw away the game in the dying seconds. Thankfully James "Kris" Connors lost 4 yards on the final Steelers play, otherwise things would be dire.

  6. Andank Andank (3-6, L2) - At a certain point you just have to close, unlike your Tinder dates.

  7. East Joppa Mart (5-4, L3) - Might need a Presser out of Mart. Through 6 weeks Mart averaged 119 PF. That's now fallen to a Jack Taylor-esque 83.16 PF average over the last three weeks. Either there's a water main break on East Joppa and Mart's drinking lead-based water or he's eating the paint.

  8. Il Duce (6-3, L2) - No such luck in righting the ship and correcting this midseason slump. MPR's still looking at the #3 playoff spot which is all that matters.

  9. Chicago Dogs (4-5, W2) - The 2019 Champion is giving it a go down the stretch of the season. He's got a difficult game in Week 10 against the #1 Beta Cucks. But with the return of Michael Thomas... dare I say it... could the Dogs give a famjuice facial?

  10. J.J.J.S. (4-5, W2) - Big win - will this give Mikey a little momentum heading into the remaining four weeks of the season?

  11. Straight Cash Homie (2-7, L2) - Pierce Parisi-Hanf is 2-7, the election results, and no one has heard from him in the group chat, my guess is that he's joined a far-right militia. Maybe the Proud Gay Bois?

  12. Team Mr. Probation (1-8, L3) - Tough day. Jack finally managed to score 100+ PF (only the second time all year), but fell short by 1.22. Jack's got Nick, Andank, MPR, and Miller (Weed Bowl) to round out the season. The writing is all but on the wall at this point.